“Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind.”
Swami Muktananda
I have often talked about getting into the habit of meditation right now. Of course, I do it for a day and then forget again to do it the next. My finger automatically swipes any notification that appears on my phone and my brain says “I’ll remember to do it later.” It’s a lie, brain! You won’t remember to do it later!
I know meditation as sitting cross-legged in a darkened room with incense while you clear your mind of all thoughts. Sure, the environment may not matter, but clearing your mind of all thoughts? I don’t know about you, but that’s a near-impossible task for me.
Although, when I do attempt to meditate it either makes me refreshed or . . . it makes me cry. And then I don’t necessarily look forward to trying it again.
I found that I tend to cry when I listen to guided meditations that have to do with positive self-affirmations. Due to negative intrusive thoughts, I don’t always have a positive view of myself. Sometimes those positive self-affirmations are hard to hear because I simply don’t believe them in that moment. It is often very frustrating and leads me wondering whether I want to continue with meditation or not. Does anyone else feel similarly?
My Goal for Meditation Right Now
My goal for meditation right now is to decrease this frustration and find ways to get the benefits of it. For me, I feel like I need to do some research first on the history of meditation, the benefits as well as different types. I am going to experiment with what works for me and detail it here.
I will also start by setting a timer to sit for 5 minutes a day quietly with some music. Guided meditations may be too much for me right now, so I will try some simple music . . . or maybe just rainy day sounds.
Watch out in my weekly update to see the results of sitting for 5 minutes with some calming music.